Why Does the Neighbor's Lawn have to Be So Perfect?

Don’t you hate the neighbor with the perfect lawn or yard?  Okay, maybe hate is a little strong—how about despise or resent?  It’s not personal, it’s just that they make you look bad because they look so good.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  Can’t they back off just a bit—let a few weeds break the surface of the ground, allow a brown spot on the grass to thrive for at least part of the year.  Don’t they have regular jobs?  Don’t they have a sense of humor?

Come on, I work hard at work.  I don’t want to work hard at home.  That makes no sense to me.  The dang Jones’s (no offense to any real Jones’s intended) are hurting me on purpose.  Please, for the love of all that is natural and dying, back off of the golf course perfect, lawn care.  You are making me look bad. 

I know, some of you are saying that I am using them (the Jones’s) as scapegoats for my own slothfulness or that I am refusing to own my own problem and have, instead, conveniently passed the blame on to responsible, upstanding citizens who have pride enough to have a lovely yard.  Well, you’re wrong.  I am simply saying that I want the neighborhood standard to be ratcheted down to my level so that my lawn can be the symbol of normalcy.  That’s all I am asking for—not a junk yard , just the norm.  Then and only then will I be able to drive into my driveway with pride knowing that the Jones’s came down to my level for once and that I have finally become an average neighbor. 

So what does this have to do with 12 Golden Keys I have been writing about?  It's simple--you've got to have balance.  There you go.   [Disclaimer:  There is no truth in this story or relation to my own home and neighbors—at least that I will admit to voluntarily.]