12 Golden Keys to More Abundant Living--A Review

     12 Golden Keys, as set forth below, are simple--but that simplicity is the key.  There is not a single thought here that is new to the world.  What makes these Keys unique is the sequence and combination of crucial thoughts.  Many who review the Keys or who hang a copy on their wall, refrigerator, or in a book find that at different times in their lives, whether distressed, depressed, anxious, flat, or just feeling down, one or more keys reach them deeply.  They remind you of something you forgot.  They impress you to do something a little better, a little differently, a little more kindly.  They are intended to be sparks or triggers to move you to action or to convince you to mentally move forward. 

     Ultimately, the elements of the list can help you fight against Self-Tyranny--those self destructive mental constructs that tear us down and destroy us.  Too often we hurt ourselves by beating ourselves up.  We refuse to move forward.  We feel like captives in our lives, physically or mentally. 

     We absolutely have the ability to react.  We are "response able"  Sometimes we just need guidance or structure to help us move ahead.  12 Golden Keys, in that sense, are a literal checklist or series of guideposts to help us as we shake-off the blues, overcome the darkness, and reach for the light.  There is literal power in 12 Golden Keys.  I hope you share them with others who may be in need.  Friends will thank you if you do.

I Wish I Knew Now What I Knew in High School.....Theoretically!

U.S. Supreme Court Building in D.C--My Kids Who Are Already Much Smarter Than I Ever Will Be.

     When I was in high school, I knew everything!  So did my friends.  So did my fellow classmates.  So did High Schoolers of the World Forever United (HSWFU)--okay, I made that last one up but it is true in concept. 

     When we were older teens we knew, for example, that our parents were not very smart and that their only aim was to bring us down to their level of boredom, misery, and bodily aches and pains.  Hey, we felt sorry for them because we were wise enough to see that they were losing their minds due to old age.  It was obvious they needed us way more than we needed them--except for money, food, shelter and other such niceties that they owed us anyway. 

     We knew lots of other stuff too.  We also knew how to get rich, buy big houses, and have every conceivable toy known to man (and woman). If our parents and teachers would have only encouraged us to pursue our no-brainer careers in the NBA, MLB, or NFL rather than try to convince us that we couldn't do it, I could have a statue in front of one of America's great arenas like Stockton and Malone. The same holds true for all of my friends--professional models, rockstars, Hollywood stars, football players, and tycoons.

     My research uncovered a cruel conspiracy against our progress. I am not some conspiracy nut so you need to believe me.  Our magic carpet was pulled out from under us when so-called statistics were waved in our faces assuring us that such dreams of stardom were highly unlikely.  As an accommodation to our parents and teachers, we conceded to their fears.  But make no mistake about it--we knew how to realize our dreams and would have BUT FOR the poisonous "dose of reality" our elders made us gag down in the name of sensibility.  We knew best but caved in to the "wisdom of age."  It hurts to think about what should have been.  We had it right there in the palm of our hands and look at us now.  Balding, overweight, and paying a mortgage like everyone else.  It didn't have to be this way. 


     We also knew about immortality.  Bad things simply could not and would not happen to us.  It just wasn't in our cards.  Couldn't they see that and just trust us.  We are all pretty much alive now and ;mostly sane so we must have been right.  Luck paid no part in it--don't go there.  The endless worrying and nagging about our "risky" behaviors only forced us to push the envelop more and more.  And for what gain?  Simply put, we had everything under control all along and the proof is in the pudding.  The underage parties and living in the fast lane were just innocent past-times.  We gained wisdom by conquering the enemy (and the enemy was not us as our parent's thought).  Oh, the paranoia!  As parents today we have legitimate concerns but our parents just did't know how good they had it.


     Okay, okay, I will admit that we made a few mistakes.  Our parents weren't always wrong.  They just didn't realize how smart we were and how we could have helped them be even better parents, that's all.  Is there anything wrong with being honest about this cross-generational irony.

   Sadly, our kids now act a lot like we did.  Thank heaven that we wisely know better than to listen to our kids.  Can you believe it--they actually think they know everything.  We don't know why our parents laugh when we tell them our stories.  It's almost as if they are gloating.  We could use a little support here.  These dang kids are much harder than we ever were.  They are not nearly as bright as we were when we were their age; they just don't know that yet.  Go figure....

You Can't Change the Past; You Can Only Shape the Future.

     "If I only I would have put a lock on the fence."  "If only I had looked behind my car before I backed out of the driveway that morning."  "If only I would have listened to that voice inside me that said something was wrong."  If only I had been a better son or daughter."  "If only I had not opened my big mouth." If only....If only....If only.  Should a, could a, would a.

     We can "if only" ourselves to death.  Statements or thoughts focused on doing the impossible--changing or rewriting the past--can be dangerous.  They are feeble efforts to change what cannot be changed, to undue what has already been done, to give back what has been lost forever.  

     Think about this.  Most people, to some degree or another, believe that their God can do all or many things for mankind in day to day living.  That belief is to some degree at the foundation of daily prayers, faith and church activity.  Interestingly, however, is the concept that there is one thing that even an Omnipotent God cannot do--He cannot change or undue the past.  What happened, has happened.  It's over and done.  It is crucial that we accept that reality and, at once, begin to use our energies, actions, and faith to become endowed with the strength and ability to deal overcome the challenges that stem from days gone by.  God can help us move forward but he cannot change the past.  Accepting that truth, is crucial to our ability to rise above the storms of yesteryear, to begin the process of shaping our future all the wiser for the experiences we have endured.

Ford Theatre where President Lincoln was shot.

     As hard as we try, we can’t go back in time—ever—to change a single word, action, or event that we allow to torment us in the present.  We certainly have the right to dwell on the past.  Most of us do it a lot and are quite "good" (destructive) at it.  We backtrack in our heads over and over about our imperfect pasts, our multitude of sins, our past evils, and our unchangeable errors.  We go on and on until we make ourselves sick with regret, weak with decay,  and frozen with grief.

     The problem is that by languishing and endlessly wallowing in past events we, in reality, let those past events control us and have ongoing negative impacts on our lives.  We only become empowered and firmly anchored in reality to move on when we are able to leave behind the shackles that bind us, rise above our mistakes, and learn from them.  When we cling onto the reality that from where we stand today, we are in the captains seat, the prime position to shape our futures, then our past becomes our great teacher that gives us wisdom through hard knocks.  We must let past experiences teach us but not control us.  We must allow them to forge us into more empathetic, patient, and caring people.  The events of days gone, then will only serve us if we don't repeat the mistakes and, instead, allow ourselves to become the master forgers of our destinies. 

     True, we cannot change the past, but we can certainly shape the future for good.  The seeds of perfection inside of us best grow into true potential when we live and learn, admit errors and correct them, and change our course of living to more effectively meet our ideals.

12 Golden Keys--An Introduction to the World

     Before I introduce 12 Golden Keys for the first time beyond the bounds of a few dozen family members and friends, I first want to establish the possibility that from time to time people receive ideas or wisdom from “out of the blue.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson made the following statement about illumination of the mind:  "A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within."  Emerson also explained the potential power of releasing the ideas found within us:  “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.  And when we bring what is within us out into the world, miracles happen.” 

Thomas Paine--Bolting Thoughts

 

The enlightened prose of Thomas Paine, such as his 1776 pamphlet Common Sense, helped inspire colonists to join together in the American Revolution against tyranny.  In discussing the origin of some of his thoughts and knowledge, he made the following eye-opening statements: 

“Any person, who has made observations on the state and progress of the human mind, by observing his own, cannot but have observed, that there are two distinct classes of what are called Thoughts; those that we produce in ourselves by reflection and the act of thinking, and those that bolt into the mind of their own accord.  I have always made it a rule to treat those voluntary visitors with civility, taking care to examine, as well as I was able, if they were worth entertaining; and it is from them I have acquired almost all the knowledge that I have.” (Location 611-18  11051, 5% Kindle).

     I quote the above examples, a few amongst many that could be recited here, to lend credence to the concept that people, even me, from time to time, can and do receive enlightenment and insights from unseen or unknown sources and that such illumination has potential value depending on how a given person chooses to receive and use it.  Simply stated and using the words of Paine, 12 Golden Keys “bolted” into my mind.  That's it--it was a unique experience but I have no desire to mystify them or in any way claim any special dispensation for writing them down.  The Keys, as shown below, speak for themselves.  I introduce them here to you in their plain simplicity and hope that this is just the beginning of a meaningful discussion about their meaning and ways a person can benefit from the fundamental principles contained in them. 

     On December 17, 2004 at 7:20 a.m., I awoke out of a deep sleep with the thought to turn on the light and start writing.  I found a pen and note pad in the top drawer of my nightstand.  While still lying in bed, I wrote the following words as fast as my pen could move.

     12 Golden Keys

1. Your life matters
2. Learn from your mistakes
3. There has only been one perfect person
4. You can only control and change yourself
5. You must have balance
6. You are never alone
7. You can’t change the past, you can only shape the future
8. Put God at the center of your existence and family and friends at the center of your life
9. Live in the moment—there is no time like now
10. Choose to be happy even when life is not fair
11. Commit to make a difference through unconditional love
12. Live the Golden Rule

(Copyright © 2004 Steven Burge.  All rights reserved.)

 

A Distant Photo of the One and Only Draft of the Keys

     After I was done with the list, I wrote "12 Golden Keys" across the top of the paper.  In the weeks after I wrote the list, I typed it up and passed it out to a select number of close friends.  I put the original in my sock drawer where it stayed for years.  The original now hangs on my wall.  When the opportunity felt right or when I thought it might help, I selectively shared the list with a handful of people who approached me with varying life challenges.  I was often surprised by the reaction people had to some or all of the Keys.  Sometimes tears would roll down cheeks as a person read the list or people would thank me and tell me they really needed to see one or more of the Keys due to circumstances in their lives.  Several times readers looked up at me with a surprised look on their faces when they grasped, perhaps for the first time, that they couldn’t change others, they couldn’t change the past, or they didn’t need to be perfect.  I was grateful on such occasions that I could offer them such simple and timely wisdom.  I was humbled then and remain so now any time I see individuals positively affected by the 12 Golden Keys.  Take note of the interesting sequence of the Keys from self, through God, to serving others. 
     It is important you understand that in no way are the Keys intended to displace or supersede anyone's personal religious beliefs, sacred values, or moral codes.  Ultimately, you should hold on to that which you find holy, to the truths that inspire and uplift you, and to the divine that guides you.  It is my simple hope that in some way, perhaps during a bad day, a period of crisis, or when you feel that the weight of living is crushing you, you can look to 12 Golden Keys™ in the same way you might reach for a favorite poem or an inspirational quote and find some peace, comfort, reminders, or direction to help you through.  I guess that is why I decided it was time to release the whole list in case someone might benefit from any part of them now. 
 
     There is much more to come in the future.  I hope to complete some books I am working on that pertain to the keys and, as a lecturer, be able to speak to groups from all walks of life about the principles contained in 12 Golden Keys™.  I hope to provide service to people and organizations in need and help people find their own way.  Consider this the official beginning of what I hope is a long and beneficial ride for many.

[As to the article, Copyright © 2011 Steven Burge.  All rights are reserved.  No copying or reproduction without the written consent of the owner.]  

What Goes Around Comes Around: Life's Win/Lose Cycle and Selective Memory

     Humans are funny creatures.  To one degree or another, we are all guilty of what I am about to decribe. We might as well accept the fact that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  The problem is that in doing so, sometimes we are not very nice and sometimes we are even, dare I say, jerks.  I propose that in our winning and losing cycles we all have the disturbing ability to utilize all kinds of selective memory devices to insulate ourselves from reality. This is your chance to laugh at yourself for your own gamesmanship in the sometimes joyous and other times cruel world of partiality.

      So, it goes like this--your team wins a big game or competition.  A wand or something magical is waved across the universe and, incredibly, you and all like-minded victors transform into the kings or queens of the hill (and maybe even tyrants of sorts in some cases).  Or, maybe your political party gloriously surges to a mighty majority in a November election sweep, trouncing the other party and proving you were on the right side of the issues all along.  Similar statements can be made for other life examples when you are on top of the world--your surging stock porfolio, your award-winning performances, your first-in-class kids or grandkids who can do no wrong, your well-toned body earned by superior dedication to exercise and disciplined eating, or your high paying job and nice home that are both recession and layoff-proof because, after all, you have worked so hard.  You get the point. 

To the Victors Go the Spoils (for now)

   Today, in the moment of victory, you get to enjoy yourself with pride.  You get to exercise your well-earned bragging rights, strut your stuff, and rub (metaphorically I hope) the victory or success in the faces of any adversary who is in any way on the losing side.  "We're number one!"  "We're Number One!"  "See you next time losers."  By all appearances, being on the winning side of life's little contests is akin to getting a badge of honor to wear proudly in your glory.  In this modern world you even get to go online and gloat in the social media and pour salt on the wounds of the defeated and the deflated.

     Through all of this process, miraculously in nearly all winning circumstances, selective short-term or even long-term memory blocking devices kick in to shelter us from the full realites of the past.  Somehow last year's or last week's humiliating loss dissolves away as though it never happened.  The pain of past electoral suffering is forgotten.  Our stock losses, job struggles, and previous modest apartment living vanish in our minds as though we have only and always been on top of the world.  During the high, it's all euphoric. The pleasure is intense.  Our memories of bygone days fade away.

     Then comes reality.  The fall back to earth is always on the horizon. One way or another, we will eventually and regularly be back to eating humble pie after tasting sweet glory for a time.  Sure, it's good for us to relish our successes or the winning of those we love and admire, but just remember, whatever we dish out will come back to us someday, often two-fold or more.  We reap what we sow.  What goes around, always comes around again to kick us in the behind.

     Without exception, the day of redemption comes when your beloved  gladiators will lose and likely lose badly.  It will hurt and you will want sympathy but you will likely find that there is precious little help to be found, especially if you celebrated too loudly when luck was on your side. The others like you on the losing side of the new epic battle can't and won't help you because they will likewise be numb and confused. You will have to cry in lonely silence while the new victors start their own victory lap.  Then we start the cycle all over again.  

     Sure, we get lucky and once in a while we get on a magical streak that makes us so superior to everyone around us that others, frankly, hate our guts.  Still, whether you are a Yankee, UCLA Bruin, Pittsburgh Steeler, Republican or Democrat, there is always an end to the short-term glory and a weeping and wailing to follow.  That is life's pattern and there is nothing we can do about it...except, be good sports, have fun but not take ourselves too seriously, recognize the value of all sides in any battle, value the competition and the competitors, enjoy the event and be a dignified, gracious winners, not sore losers.   Luckily the laws of nature always win--what goes up, must come down; you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around.