A few months ago, a friend introduced me to the Buddhist concept of the Second Arrow. When I first read the metaphor, I was humbled by its simple wisdom and found it easy to apply to my own life. I am the first to admit that my summary below may be off target to some extent because I have limited understanding of the broad spectrum of Buddhist beliefs. With that admission, I have respectfully introduced the concept below the best I can within what I believe to be the spirit of the sacred metaphor. I think all readers can benefit from the principals as they are presented. If you are interested I encourage you to individually study the concept more thoroughly through many online sources.
The Buddhist metaphor of the Second Arrow involves two arrows. In simple terms, the first arrow is the one that is shot into us from life itself--representing the pain that comes with living, whether from people, illness, or challenges in their many varieties. In a symbolic way, consider the pain and injury that would come from an actual arrow striking us and then liken that impact and pain to our life circumstances. The first arrow could represent wounds of injustice, prejudice, hate, or apathy that deprive us of some part of our life, liberty or happiness--to use the language of the Declaration of Independence. This arrow could be a disease, the death of a loved one, an unfair firing from work, hurtful gossip from a friend, or battles with a teenager with a death wish.
We cannot escape the first arrow. They come at us throughout our lives. They are almost always uninvited and unwelcome. The only thing we can control in relation to the first arrow is our response. In the metaphor that response is the second arrow--the one that we shoot into ourselves to distract us from or respond to the first arrow. In simple terms, the second arrow represents what we do after being struck by the first arrow. Unlike the first arrow, we can control, to a large extent, the second arrow. Without question the second arrow is often more deadly or dangerous than the first one. Because we are emotional and sometimes irrational creatures, too often our response is self-destructive.
It is crucial that we understand and contemplate the implications of the second arrow. We have choice and ownership in our response to the first arrow but we do not necessarily dictate the consequences that may follow from those choices. Our second arrow can be destructive when it includes endless second guessing, self-blaming, self-loathing, or refusing to let go of the unchangeable past. It might be an arrow of self-destruction through substance abuse, risky lifestyles, bitterness, and anger in reaction to a hurtful first arrow. The first arrow may bring us an unwanted chronic illness like diabetes, cancer, or a mental illness. We can take the second arrow and tragically use it to guarantee that we succumb to disease, or, we can honorably do everything in our power to counter the wounds--with a positive mind set, healthy diet, regular exercise, or spiritual beliefs and practices. What we should not do is give up, accept the role of victimhood. We must not use the second arrow to deepen the pains and fester the wounds from the first arrow. Instead, we should mount an attack of healing, courage, and faith.
I challenge you to think about the metaphor of the Second Arrow. If you are willing to look deeply inside your mind and heart, you will likely discover some destructive second arrows whose existence you justify because of the wounds inflicted by a series of first arrows. Life, so you say, has forced your hand. The reality is, however, that such justification will hold you back, making you hurt unnecessarily, and unnecessarily impacting your overall happiness. What is the issue hurting you? Is it about an ex-spouse or partner? A co-worker or boss? The actions of a parent years ago? Imbalance in the physical, social, intellectual, or spiritual parts of your soul? Addiction? Pride? Jealousy? Resentment? Fear? Untreated physical or mental illness? Inability or unwillingness to let go or forgive? Endless efforts to change the unchangeable past? And on and on....?
Mahatma Gandhi, who understand how to respond to first arrows said: "We must become the change we want to see." The key to positive change is to not endlessly dwell on our pain and beat ourselves up over our failings. Remember, we are fallible humans and all fall short. If you doubt that, please see prior comments in this blog that reinforce that principle. In addition, we cannot fix everything overnight. So, if in your self-evaluation you have uncovered something or things that you would like to let go of or fix, then calmly assess and make a plan. There are no short cuts. Henry Ward Beecher said: The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success." So, set some SMART goals and get to work. A SMART goal is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound. Don't wait until New Years to set a resolution. Instead, starting right now accept that you are responsible (response able) and have the power in you to control the second arrow--how you respond to adversity. There is no better time to make a change than now. Write your thoughts and plans down. Seek help from a trusted friend. You can do it on day at a time!
The Buddhist metaphor of the Second Arrow involves two arrows. In simple terms, the first arrow is the one that is shot into us from life itself--representing the pain that comes with living, whether from people, illness, or challenges in their many varieties. In a symbolic way, consider the pain and injury that would come from an actual arrow striking us and then liken that impact and pain to our life circumstances. The first arrow could represent wounds of injustice, prejudice, hate, or apathy that deprive us of some part of our life, liberty or happiness--to use the language of the Declaration of Independence. This arrow could be a disease, the death of a loved one, an unfair firing from work, hurtful gossip from a friend, or battles with a teenager with a death wish.
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| Notice the arrows in the Great Seal of the Unites States above. Interesting symbol in the context of this Post. |
We cannot escape the first arrow. They come at us throughout our lives. They are almost always uninvited and unwelcome. The only thing we can control in relation to the first arrow is our response. In the metaphor that response is the second arrow--the one that we shoot into ourselves to distract us from or respond to the first arrow. In simple terms, the second arrow represents what we do after being struck by the first arrow. Unlike the first arrow, we can control, to a large extent, the second arrow. Without question the second arrow is often more deadly or dangerous than the first one. Because we are emotional and sometimes irrational creatures, too often our response is self-destructive.
It is crucial that we understand and contemplate the implications of the second arrow. We have choice and ownership in our response to the first arrow but we do not necessarily dictate the consequences that may follow from those choices. Our second arrow can be destructive when it includes endless second guessing, self-blaming, self-loathing, or refusing to let go of the unchangeable past. It might be an arrow of self-destruction through substance abuse, risky lifestyles, bitterness, and anger in reaction to a hurtful first arrow. The first arrow may bring us an unwanted chronic illness like diabetes, cancer, or a mental illness. We can take the second arrow and tragically use it to guarantee that we succumb to disease, or, we can honorably do everything in our power to counter the wounds--with a positive mind set, healthy diet, regular exercise, or spiritual beliefs and practices. What we should not do is give up, accept the role of victimhood. We must not use the second arrow to deepen the pains and fester the wounds from the first arrow. Instead, we should mount an attack of healing, courage, and faith.
I challenge you to think about the metaphor of the Second Arrow. If you are willing to look deeply inside your mind and heart, you will likely discover some destructive second arrows whose existence you justify because of the wounds inflicted by a series of first arrows. Life, so you say, has forced your hand. The reality is, however, that such justification will hold you back, making you hurt unnecessarily, and unnecessarily impacting your overall happiness. What is the issue hurting you? Is it about an ex-spouse or partner? A co-worker or boss? The actions of a parent years ago? Imbalance in the physical, social, intellectual, or spiritual parts of your soul? Addiction? Pride? Jealousy? Resentment? Fear? Untreated physical or mental illness? Inability or unwillingness to let go or forgive? Endless efforts to change the unchangeable past? And on and on....?
Mahatma Gandhi, who understand how to respond to first arrows said: "We must become the change we want to see." The key to positive change is to not endlessly dwell on our pain and beat ourselves up over our failings. Remember, we are fallible humans and all fall short. If you doubt that, please see prior comments in this blog that reinforce that principle. In addition, we cannot fix everything overnight. So, if in your self-evaluation you have uncovered something or things that you would like to let go of or fix, then calmly assess and make a plan. There are no short cuts. Henry Ward Beecher said: The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success." So, set some SMART goals and get to work. A SMART goal is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound. Don't wait until New Years to set a resolution. Instead, starting right now accept that you are responsible (response able) and have the power in you to control the second arrow--how you respond to adversity. There is no better time to make a change than now. Write your thoughts and plans down. Seek help from a trusted friend. You can do it on day at a time!
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