Be Kind to All--We are all Fighting Battles

Maria Shriver tweeted three amazing messages on this Memorial Day that should be contemplated and shared (I have combined them here for convenience):

"My daughter once gave me a great Plato quote that said, 'Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.' I love that. So true. . . We don't know what is going on inside of most people. . . . On this Memorial Day, when so many are grieving in obscurity or silence, let's keep that in mind. Be kind...so many people are grieving."   Maria Shriver

 

Maria, the niece of John and Robert Kennedy, is an amazing woman of grace who is no stranger to "hard battles."  As she taught, we would do well to remember those around us who are in the midst of life's battles.  If we feel we are struggling too much to do something, then we have even more reason to stretch by reaching out to help others.  In so doing, we can receive the gift of a healing balm in our own lives.

On this Memorial Day and all days, let us live the spirit of President Lincoln's Second Inaugural address, delivered about 40 days before his assassination as the Civil War--where over 600,000 men died--was ending:  "With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves, and with all nations."

Sunset from the Washington Monument toward the Lincoln Memorial

From life's battles we all have wounds that need care and healing.  Yes, to one degree or another, we all walk in our own tattered shoes.  We all have need of compassion and, in turn, we all need to give compassion.  We can all make a difference in our own world starting today by doing something kind for someone else, by reserving judgment, and by forgiving ourselves for our own failings.  Let the memory of the honored dead in all wars and in our own lives give us hope that we may "achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."  What are you going to do?  Have a great day!

 

Overcoming and Moving Forward

"It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly."  Isaac Asimov

I don't know about you but I often flounder and have a hard time overcoming my weaknesses and moving past mistakes so I can productively move forward in my life.  It is too easy to dwell on past errors and overly focus on the past challenges and, in doing so, let such backward aiming dominate our lives to the point that we become paralyzed with fear and regret or, worse yet, start moving in a downward spiral.  We sometimes get excessively imaginative about "shoulda, coulda, and woulda"--dreaming up every conceivable doomsday scenario even when the facts or consequences are not as bad as our machinations.  In other words we create fiction in our heads and try to rewrite the actual event with a litany of terrifying "what ifs" rather than focusing our attention on the actual facts and strategizing around where we are, what we can do, and how we can overcome.  That is a mistake and thinking we should change.  Think of this:  Not even God can change the past.  What has happened has happened.  When there is something in our distant or recent past that we are allowing to haunt us, we can benefit by realistically evaluating where we really are and letting go of the unchangeable pas--except for any lessons-learned values.   

"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what you do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer." Dennis Waitly.

Resting place of Senator Edward Kennedy--a man who had to learn to move forward

If you may have to pay some sort of price for your actions, then ask yourself "What is the worst thing that can happen." Prepare yourself for that but start strategizing about ways to lessen the impact.  You have to face the facts, recognize that you can't change them, and institute a plan that can clear your conscience, show you your inner-fortitude in hard times, assist you in making any needed restitution, seek the help of loved ones, and plead for grace (a great enabling power where God intervenes on our behalf to enable us to fill the gap between the most we can do on our own and what we need.  Grace is a gift!  If we are sincere, have hope and faith, and strive for humility, we can receive heavenly help that can change us from the inside out and give us the means, tools, and willpower to shine from darkness. Don't give up when the chips are down.  Be realistic, remember you are human, and do the best you can.  The sun will shine again. Do you have the desire to overcome and move forward? Then do it and do it with the help of loved ones around you and the Divine.  “You can’t change the past, you can only shape the future.”  (Golden Key 7, Copyright 2004 by Steven Burge)

Multiplier or Diminisher--What are you? (Book Recommendation)

I was fortunate to recently attend a seminar where the keynote speaker was Larry Gelwix, the Highland High Rugby Coach for the past 36 years who has won 414 games with 10 losses and earned 19 national championships (and is working on his 20th right now).  He is truly a human touchstone of excellence.  The movie "Forever Strong" was based on him and his teams.

George Washington--A Great Multiplier Who Helped Build a Nation

Mr. Gelwix is an amazing man but in his presence you feel no arrogance despite his successes.  He is a great role model.  He was teaching about five keys to being a champion.  One focused on the way we lead others.  He recommends that we be "horizontal" leaders rather than "vertical" ones.  A horizontal leader treats others with dignity and respect but simultaneously has clear expectations and consequences built into their systems.  Vertical leaders are kingdom builders--"everything centers on me"--people.  In his presentation he recommended what he called one of the best leadership books he had ever read.  I bought it the next day and am passing the word to you because it really is a great book.  I recommend reading:  Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown.  They did extensive studies to understand how multipliers (bosses, parents, politicians, etc.) lead to make those around them give so much and get so much better (giving 70-100% effort and more through growth).  Other so-called diminishers "lead" but it turns out they bring many around them down and get very little from their people (30-50%).  What type of leader are you?  If you become a multiplier you will get up to two-times the effort and production from people than a diminisher gets.  It's worth a look. 

Two tips Larry Gelwix gave for evaluating people and yourself:
1.  How do they treat people who have nothing to give them or from whom they need nothing?  Do they treat the beggar, office assistant, maid, ... like dirt or do they treat all people regardless of rank or stature with dignity and respect.  Watch people and you can learn a lot about who they really are by their interactions with those they don't "need." (using "need" in a general sense not a moral, religious or other way).

2.  What do you do when no one will know or can know what you did?  The answer to that question will tell you a lot about yourself.  As Mr. Gelwix said, we are human and have room for growth.  Who we become means much more than what we become.  Pick something you can work on to help others grow and to help yourself become more like your ideal self.  But allow for mistakes and be patient because change takes time.  Remember, we are only human.  We can work on a few things at a time (not too many) and we can all grow as a result!  What are you going to do?  What am I going to do?

Why "Touchstone Chronicles"?

The White House

A touchstone was a black stone, like basalt, that was used to test the quality or purity of gold or silver by comparing a streak left on the stone by a sample against the streak from a known standard or sample. Thus, it was a method, gauge, or standard for testing for quality, purity, excellence. This blog is named the Touchstone Chronicles largely because I like the name and also because it is a place where we will be evaluating, comparing, and discussing supposed standards and gauges for living. We will do that by evaluating historical, psychological and philosophical issues and principles (time-tested touchstones instead of fleeting media created standards) as a means, in a sense, to better understand ourselves and to value our unique qualities and excellence. 

You may have noted that I use references to and photos from Washington D.C.  Why?  First of all, I think our Nation's Capitol, the ideals that its stands for, is a Touchstone for the world.  Also, the monuments, museums, magnificent buildings, art, and ambiance are also touchstones--world class standards for greatness.  Finally, my family members or I took the pictures during a remarkable family vacation and have come to love the place like nowhere else.  It doesn't hurt that the items in the photos and the historical quotes and events are in the public domain so that gives me great material without having to worry about copyright challenges.  My goal is to look at this material, connect it to principles I value and the book I am writing so that I can hopefully help myself and other's develop, heal, and grow.  I can write for a lifetime and never run out of material--that's a bonus too.  By the way, if you haven't been to D.C.--go.  It's life changing.

My Thoughts on Abraham Lincoln

Those who know me well understand that my favorite historical figure is Abraham Lincoln.  Several years back, after visiting Washington D.C. and Springfield, Illinois several times, I decided to devote several years to studying the one of a kind legend.  There is so much I can and will say about the man in this Blog, in books I am working on, and in speeches I will give.  I love his humanity, his wit, his melancholy, his unbending commitment to our nation, his writings, and so much more.  If you read nothing else this year, you owe it to yourself to read a great history on Lincoln.  For an all around great review, I recommend Lincoln by David Donald.  Probably for the first time in you life you will find out why more has been written about Lincoln than any other person but Jesus Christ.  If you suffer depression, loneliness, feel awkward, have lost loved ones, then Lincoln is the man.  There is another book called Lincoln's Melancholy by Joshua Shenk that is excellent.  It explores in depth the emotional challenges--intense depression-- Lincoln had to live with.  Lincoln's humanity makes his story grand.  You won't regret reading more about him.

Life, Liberty, and Happiness

Have you ever reached a point in life when you simply don't know what to do next or how you can possibly carry on?  Imagine how 33 year old Thomas Jefferson felt when he was tasked with writing the Declaration of Independence to inspire the dawning of a new nation "conceived in Liberty and dedicated the proposition that all men are created equal." (Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address referring to the Declaration of Independence).  He found wisdom and wrote one of history's great documents.  I love the Jefferson Memorial shown above that honors one of the great figures in history.  Despite any imperfections he had, he was inspired to write these noble words that we each can look to and believe in as we live each day:  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness[.]"  These foundational human principles are promises captured by Jefferson in some of the greatest prose ever written in human history.  They give us hope, direction, and ideals to live by.  Jefferson believed in light as a source of knowledge.  As you seek to find life, liberty and happiness, seek for light and truth.   If you do not doubt, truths will be unfolded to you through those you bump into, friends, faith, prayer, books, and any source of wisdom.  Look, listen, and learn!

Your Life Matters (A First Look at 12 Golden Keys)

Let's get to it!  I look forward to reviewing aspects of my new book, philosophies about Tyranny, stories about great people who have had to overcome themselves, and so much more.  Let's have some fun and have some great discussion!  I look forward to making many connections and building synergy with those who make their way to this page.  I have about 8 months to get my book published so I am sending the word out to the universal intelligence asking that like-minded people be drawn to this page to share in the adventure that is just beginning.  I look forward to sharing 12 Golden Keys with you over the coming months and through the publication of several books. 

Golden Key 1:  Your life matters -- Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and don't let yourself be your own worst critic.  There are people around you who need you even if you don't see it.  Your loss would create pain for many who count on your smile, your eyes, your support, your love.  If you are depressed or somehow out of balance, then take stock of your life, get help when it is needed, and move forward.  Your life matters in ways you cannot comprehend.  If you are tempted to give up, just know that we are often tested right up to the edge of where we can't handle it any more.  If we can hang in there in such dark or challenging times, we can and will make it through to a better and brighter tomorrow.

Assignment:  Go look in the mirror and look into your own eyes.  What do they tell you?  If you don't like what see (not appearance-wise but countenance-wise), then start changing the way you interpret what you see.  Focus on your strengths--you have some.  Minimize your focus on your imperfections and, instead, shine the light on that part of you that makes you unique, worthwhile, and special.  You have got to believe that you matter before you can move forward to make the kind of contributions you may want in your life.  Hang in there--talk to others if you just can't get through this step alone.  Normally, change requires personal desire and is most likely to happen with the involvement or help of a significant other in your life.  Smile and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.  Your life matters!  Practice this self-talk every day until you believe it.  You must overcome self-tyranny, a topic I will be addressing more in the future.

Touchstone Chronicles Kickoff

Welcome!  We have a lot to talk about and to learn together.  Please join me for a trip through the mind, history, and life.  I am sending a message out to the Universal Intelligence now to find like-minded people.  I look forward to your appearance.  I know we can find each other and discover wisdom for our age.