Sincerity: A Pillar of Success and Key to Our Society

     As I was finishing the 1911 book by James Allen entitled The Eight Pillars of Prosperity, I ran into his sixth pillar, Sincerity, and found myself immersed in some of the most powerful writing I have ever read.  That chapter and the next that focuses on the pillar of Impartiality, together, are astounding!  He was a genius.  He was and is a voice of wisdom for the ages.  All quotes below come from Allen's Eight Pillars.

"Knowledge Comes But Wisdom Lingers." at the U.S. Library of Congress

     Allen teaches that "[h]uman society is held together by its sincerity."  The lack of sincerity between people, institutions, and systems, reason dictates, would "beget a universal mistrust which would bring about a universal separation."  To hammer home his point he makes it crystal clear that our very lives are "made sane, wholesome, and happy by our deep rooted belief in one another."  He reminds us that history shows that sincerity has worked more than it has failed and that systems have survived because at the core most people are good and, profoundly I think, that society "contain[s] within itself the seeds of perfection."  He encourages us to not focus so much on the "rottenness of society" and to quit thinking that everything is bad.  The good and the sincere thrive and survive while the fakes, the egotistical, and those focused on selfish ends or unbending partiality (where opinion becomes more important than truth), are always revealed for who they are and can achieve short-term prosperity. 

"Ignorance is the Curse of God, Knowledge the Wing Wherewith We Fly to Heaven"
At the Library of Congress in Washington D.C.

     Think of it, for centuries, our entire system of commerce and government has had at their roots the notion that people trust one another to make payment for the delivery of quality goods, establish representative forms of government made up of people doing the bidding of the people, and deposit life savings with banks expecting to someday make a withdrawal of the amount with interest added.  At the heart of society and human interactions, a trust-based system is essential in all walks of life because it gives us a great sense of "universal confidence." in one another.  "[H]uman society rests on a strong basis of truth backed by sincere people--people who are what they purport to be, people who believe in the good of others, people of morality.  As Allen explains, "[m]orality and sincerity are so closely bound up together, that where sincerity is lacking, morality, as a power, is lacking also, for insincerity undermines all the other virtues, so that they crumble away and become of no account."

Statue at the Amazing Library of Congress

      In our own lives it is worth contemplating Allen's wisdom.  Are you sincere--real, trustworthy, transparent, and a believer that there is more good than bad?  Or, have you succumbed to insincerity where you think everyone and everything around you is crumbling down, down, down and that the seeds of perfection in people are lost to immorality.  Sadly, too much of the media and too many of us won't or can't see the beauty of the seasons, the light in people's eyes, and the grandeur of living, but instead, have chosen to see only the bad in government, business, and society.

     Don't let the naysayers win the battle for our minds.  Look around you for the sincere and you will see that they abound all around us.  People help their neighbors.  People voluntarily return lost goods.  People are honest and good neighbors.  Most people in positions of public trust are doing the best they can under incredibly difficult circumstances.  True, there is a minority of people who do create challenges for the majority but we can't lose sight of the fact that the majority is substantial and that most people are good and doing the best they can.  Look for those who live sincere lives, as described by Allen.  They are the great leaders, teachers, and mentors in our lives who give us confidence to hang in there, to believe, to be principled, and to trust ourselves and those around us.  Be such a person and you will help heal the hurting and overcome the destructive.

     The following website contains the complete collection of James Allen: http://james-allen.in1woord.nl/.   The site claims that his collection is in the public domain because his works are more than 75 years old.  I don't know if that is true.  I have his collection of nineteen books on Kindle and paid a little over $10 for it.  Whatever you choose, Allen's wisdom about sincerity and so many other concepts is worth any price.

If Your Kids Say You're "Sick"--That's a Good Thing

     Recently, we enjoyed a month having a foreign exchange student stay in our home.  It was a great experience but I often worried about our communication.  The student spoke good and proper English.  I noticed, however, that none of us, especially the young adults, could get through a sentence without slang of all kinds.  I had to constantly remind my kids to translate what they had just said into real English.  It was quite an eye-opener and got me thinking about modern-day slang.  Let me review some of the things I learned. 

Whose language is correct?  Young or older.

     If you have teens, you may have noticed that "sick" does not necessarily mean sick as you know it.  In today's lingo, you have arrived at that daunted place if your 15 year old says (this is totally fictional, of course): "Yo Pops, just want ya to know, you're totally sick."  In this tale of fiction (because no teen is going to say that to any parent, right), I have been informed that I have arrived at the state of being great, cool, or awesome.  That makes sense doesn't it--sick equals cool.

     So, if that were the case (that I were sick), then I would be qualified to say the following cool talk to my wife, for instance:  "What up son, its time for a chill sesh cuz I have some mad paper."  Translation, I think: "Hey honey, do you want to go on a date since I have some extra money."  Son does not mean son at all--its more like dude.  You don't go out, you just hang out or have a relaxing chill session with money that just happens to be made of paper.  Got it?

     See, this language quagmire can actually make some sense if you get into it.  Here's a real example I saw today on my Nephew's Facebook page.  Now, just so you know, this is a bright young college student who loves sports, gets straight A's, and speaks or writes just like your kids.  See if you can make sense of this.  "And if I'm going to dog Tony Romo, I got to give him his props, he played with heart today."  Does that make sense to you?  After I thought about it I realized it means something like "If I am going to criticize Romo, I must also praise him when he played as well as he did today."  Trying to apply that to my life or our lives as parents, we could give the following parental advice: "Don't always be dogging on your kids; you got to give them their just props too."  Parents, you must give five props for every dog.  Makes perfect sense.

     Let me leave you with a few more examples of modern lingo and give you my words of wisdom in the end.  If your kids say they "are down with that" then they're in or ready or in agreement.  "Let's go to Cafe Rio."  "Okay, I'm down with that."  Or, there's "Do you want the mad low down?"  They just want to know if you want the latest or want to know what happened.  Let's roll or let's bounce" means lets go.  He's got mad hops or, in other words, he can jump really high.

     A few more points.  Remember an email is not a text and a text is not an email (never intermingle the words or you will pay through ridicule).  I know, they both seem to be the same things to me too--just a bunch of electronic words.  Don't go there.  I have fairly warned you; I did not make the rules.  Also, though this is old news to most of you by now, please do not call your flip flop shoes thongs. The trauma for you and your kids is just not worth it, especially if you do it in front of any of your kid's friends.  Finally, good looking people are definitely not "foxes" anymore. If you try that, you will get an incredulous look from your dumbfounded kid right before they laugh you out of the house. Remember, good looking people are hot. 

     Also, forget understanding the dating scene.  Don't even try to figure out the progression of what we called dating/courting. Our kids start somewhere around chillin, move to hanging out, and after various levels of that I think they get to dating, I think, and....I really don't know what to call the rest.

     As a word of warning, if you mess this kind of basic stuff up, your kid is likely to call you a deuce.  I'm still trying to figure out what that means.  Let me know if you find out.

     Just so you don't feel too perplexed.  I did have a child recently say the old familiar words "It's none of your bees wax."  When I called him on it, I think I concluded that he was just mocking me or flattering me by using one of the things I might say.  Either way, I took comfort in knowing that he was capable of speaking my language.

      For now, peace out Homes.

My Dad teaches the youngsters how to "peace out."

Lincoln's Mom Nancy Hanks--Died Young But Changed the World.

*i have read numerous books on the subject below, each with portions of the following factual recitation, including primary sources such as letters.  I make reference to one of the major sources, an amazing book I recommend to all, in the text below.  The analysis is my own.

     It is likely that not many people have heard of the name Nancy Hanks.  She died in 1818 at the age of 34, leaving behind a husband, Thomas, and two children, a daughter 11 and a son 9.  Like many others at that time in southern Indiana, including various relatives, she died from milk sickness, a malady passed through a cow’s milk after the cow had eaten a poisonous root. (Donald, David Herbert (1995). Lincoln. New York: Touchstone, 26.).    She was a woman who could read but not write, she cooked for the family, mended clothes, and maintained their one room cabin (Donald at 23).  She and her husband had joined the Separate Baptist Church which required adherence to a strict code of morality, including such tenets as no profanity, intoxication, or dancing.  The church was also opposed to slavery.  (Donald at 24).  She purportedly told her children on her death bed in her small, simple cabin in southern Indiana “to be good to their father—to one another and to the world.”  (Donald at 26). 

 Nancy Lincoln’s headstone in Indiana on the grounds of the Lincoln Boyhood National Memorial.

     If time were frozen at the time of Nancy’s death and her life analyzed from that perspective alone, it would be fair to say from what we know today that she lived an honorable life, was a good mother and wife, and did the best she could.  She lived an average but good life.  Some have irrationally devalued her life because she was born out of wedlock, a significant issue at the time that even led to legal charges of fornication against her mother.  (Donald at 20.).      

The Pioneer Cementary in Lincoln, Indiana.

     Certainly, her death mattered a great deal to a distraught husband and two young motherless children.  People like much like Nancy die each day around the world and leave sorrow in their wake.  The masses of humanity never become famous and, in reality, little is known or written about most who come and go.  That fact, notwithstanding, their lives mattered to those they touched. 

Thomas and Nancy Lincoln with Sarah and Abraham

     Due to destiny or the wisdom of some unseen hand, Nancy’s impact did not stop when she was buried because her son is now one of the most recognized and admired humans to ever walk the earth.  Nancy was married to a farmer named Thomas Lincoln.  Her son, Abraham had this to say about his mother:  “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.  Nancy Lincoln, an angel in the eyes of Abe Lincoln, only had nine years to affect her son.  In that short time she planted seeds of character, honesty, and goodness in the soul of a man who has had more than 5,000 books written about him.  We don’t know what she looked like, her exact lineage, or much about her personality but we do know that her life mattered to Abe and his life mattered to the world.  He shared his parents' viewpoint noting in his own words that he was “naturally anti-slavery” and, noting in 1864 that “I cannot remember a time when he did not so think, and feel.”  (Donald at 24.). 

           

            Nancy Hanks Lincoln’s life mattered whether she had a son who became president or not.  She was a common woman with an uncommon son.  Those close to her needed her and were shaped by her.  Thankfully for the United States of American and the world she did the best she could with what she had and opened the eyes to an impressionable young boy who seized destiny.

     I conclude with the following poem by the Poet Rosemary Benet entitled "Nancy Hanks"

If Nancy Hanks

Came back as a ghost,

Seeking news

Of what she loved most,

She'd ask first

"Where's my son?

What's happened to Abe?

What's he done?"

"Poor little Abe,

Left all alone

Except for Tom,

Who's a rolling stone;

He was only nine

The year I died.

I remember still

How hard he cried."

"Scraping along

In a little shack,

With hardly a shirt

To cover his back,

And a prairie wind

To blow him down,

Or pinching times

If he went to town."

"You wouldn't know

About my son?

Did he grow tall?

Did he have fun?

Did he learn to read?

Did he get to town?

Do you know his name?

Did he get on?"

Julius Silberger wrote "A Reply to Nancy Hanks"

Yes, Nancy Hanks,

The news we will tell

Of your Abe

Whom you loved so well.

You asked first,

"Where's my son?"

He lives in the heart

Of everyone.